“Why don’t you ask your coworkers to use they/them pronouns for you?” the leader of the trans support group asked me. I asked the support group to use they/them pronouns for me, but I was uncomfortable voicing that preference at work. My coworkers at the time all used she/her for me. I didn’t want them to see me as different, picky, or unprofessional. Coming out as nonbinary at work was intimidating.
I had a clear cut case of internalised transphobia. I was not willing to stick up for my own identity at work in the way I would for any of my friends.
The first time I worked with someone who used they/them pronouns, I met them remotely first. In a company all-hands meeting before they visited the office to work in person for a few weeks, the CTO announced to everyone, “Kris* is great. We like Kris. As you know, Kris uses they/them pronouns and I need you to refer to them correctly. Don’t mess it up.”
