Exploring How To Change My Nonbinary Voice

I have multiple voices. The one I like best, so far, is the deeper, smiling, confident voice I use to teach aikido and talk when I feel comfortable. The one I hate most is the “can you help me, a scared little girl,” voice that comes out when I have to ask for customer service in person. My chest clenches up, my throat tightens, my mouth smiles although my eyes do not, and my voice practically squeaks.

My high, questioning voice cuts through background noise well, and whoever I’m talking to often hears me clearly and wants to help. But I don’t like who I’ve turned into. It reminds me of a fawn reflex, the other animal instinct along with fight, flight, and freeze.