Resources

An older lesbian asked me recently what 'cis' means, which inspired me to share an explanation of the meaning of cis or cisgender.

Cis is not an insult and not a slur, despite being banned on 'X'. But people have strong feelings about the words we use to describe gender,

Cocona, rapper in the XG pop group from Japan, came out as transmasculine non-binary.

Many publications including Forbes reported on Cocona's coming-out announcement:

Bad Bunny, popular Puerto Rican singer, is playing the next Superbowl halftime show, a choice that some conservatives don't like, especially since he's announced he's doing the show in Spanish.

It's worth reminding everyone that Puerto Rico is part of the United States, Bad Bunny is

It's been quite a week for trans people and the news, as we process the fallout from the murder of Charlie Kirk, conservative influencer.

I wrote about the fear:

Violence is not the answer

This is why we’re scared today and what you can do

Amplify RespectRey

Language is a fascinating and complicated tool for gender expression, as well as communication.

I'm so excited to share this collaboration with Lily, a Japanese language teacher (who I first met when we were both teenagers)!

We discuss how to express femininity, masculinity, how these are intertwined with politeness,

What is the difference between nonbinary vs bisexual? Some people are nonbinary, some people are bisexual, and some people (like me) are both!

In this post, I'll explain all about what nonbinary vs bisexual really means.

Nonbinary is a Gender Identity

A gender identity, like "nonbinary," is a way

What does nonbinary mean? You might be curious about what makes me nonbinary, or how that differs from being a woman or man. You perhaps can’t envision another gender identity other than woman or man.

Thanks for reading Amplify Respect: Non-Binary Community! Subscribe for free to receive new

What is the difference between nonbinary vs asexual? Some people are nonbinary, some people are asexual, and some people are both!

In this post, I'll explain all about what nonbinary vs asexual really means.

Nonbinary is a Gender Identity

A gender identity, like "nonbinary," is a way to describe

If you are dating someone and you are non binary, "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" may or may not fit well with your gender identity. In a non binary relationship, names and respectful language can matter a lot. Some nonbinary people prefer gender neutral words to refer to themselves, and some nonbinary

What is gender euphoria? It's when someone feels good about about a gender-affirming experience. Cis people can experience gender euphoria too: think having fun trying on a fancy dress or having a girls night out, or attending a men's discussion group or walking with a manly swagger.

Choosing they/them pronouns instead of he/him or she/her pronouns is a personal decision. Each person has their own reasons why certain pronouns are right for them. But a reader asked me this question and I wanted to address it.

Why use they/them pronouns instead of he

Aren't they/them pronouns confusing when you're talking about one person in a group and it's unclear who you mean? I get asked this SO OFTEN!

Yeah, pronouns can be confusing, especially if you are talking about more than one person. Does "they" refer to Jenn, or

Use they/them pronouns to refer to someone without gendered pronouns such as "he" or "she." Instead of saying, "he did that," say, "they did that." It's that simple, in theory. But you may have other questions about they/them pronouns. We will clarify it all here, in this

Are you wondering how to use gender-neutral pronouns in Spanish, or how to translate “they/them” into Spanish? I’m far from fluent, unfortunately, but I do speak un poquito de Español. Since gender-neutral pronouns are important for me to express myself and represent my gender identity externally,

The nonbinary flag represents nonbinary people in the LGBTQ+ community. This post is all about the nonbinary pride flag and gender identity.

Who are Nonbinary People? 

Non-binary is a commonly used word to describe people who do not identify as men or women. The gender binary describes two

We can learn from how trans people respond to each other coming out. It's generally not a big deal, more like, "That's cool, thanks for telling me. Would you like me to use a different name or pronouns for you going forward?"

Wouldn't it be wonderful if

One question that I've heard a few times from parents goes something like: my kid wears dresses/pink/jewelry/etc and says he is a boy. What am I supposed to do with that?

Well, you don't have to look a particular way to have a particular gender.

Mainstream media frequently uses incorrect words to talk about trans people.

Because of this, when I write about trans people, I very often find that even strong allies are confused by the way I describe people's gender.

As part of an essay draft, I wrote about reading a memoir:

It's a pretty strange feeling to see myself and my friends vilified in the news and on the internet on a daily basis. Maybe "strange" is not the best word. Betrayed, angry, frustrated, and fearful are better.

I'm very grateful for the supportive people in my life.

Being

Being a supportive trans ally can be difficult, because if you're not trans, you may not realize what is helpful or not helpful.

I've collected a number of helpful and not helpful behaviors that I'd like to share with you. By reading about these here, you can

What if we don't talk about being trans to your kids? Maybe they won't be trans if they have never heard you support trans people?

Yeah, we tried not telling kids about trans people already, in the 80’s and 90’s, and guess what? Some of those

You’re good with your friend or family member being trans or non-binary. You really are. But then you introduce them to someone.

“This is Rey, my …”

Uh oh. What are the right words?

Maybe it gets awkward. Maybe you pause in the middle of the introduction to your

What if someone doesn’t know your friend/cousin/son/mother/etc came out as trans?

You’re just chatting, catching up with an old friend, and they ask you about someone, considerately, just curious how they’re doing.

But they use the wrong name or other words. Son instead

Folks, I am unqualified to answer this question from a parenting perspective. I don’t have kids, I don’t take care of kids regularly, and I’ve never had a young kid come out to me as trans. Yet you all keep asking me about your trans kids (and

We appreciate our nonbinary friends! As the holiday season approaches, this is a great time to gather gifts for nonbinary friends. Gift guides are often gender-based (we hate that): "Best gifts for Men/Women/Girls/Boys". So this gift guide recommends some neat presents for people of all genders

Looking for ways to support your nonbinary partner? We’ve got you covered. It’s so sweet that you care about your partner and their identity and I want to celebrate that with you.

This post is all about the best ways to support your nonbinary partner.

1. Listen without judgment

I have good news about cervical cancer screening! (Yes, really!)

Did you know that now there is an alternative to the pap smear for some folks: a self-administered swab HPV test? And it's starting to be covered by insurance.

If you're thinking that this info is not

A friend asked me recently if COVID is still dangerous. I tried to make the case for why I wear a mask in grocery stores, trains, hospitals, etc. Unlike most people I know, I haven't gotten the flu this winter. Like, even if you aren't worried about COVID,

Trans women ARE at risk for prostate cancer, whether or not they've had bottom surgery.

I was surprised to hear this information from a reader, and I suspect it may not be common knowledge, so I wanted to share what I've learned with you.

Early detection and treatment

“Yeah, everyone has hormones. It's not all that different,” I responded to an online commenter. They had expressed concern about, get this, people being vaccinated while on gender-affirming hormone therapy.

When they doubled down by saying they only meant the, you know, unnatural hormones for growing muscles or

For some trans and nonbinary people, hormone therapy is an important aspect of gender affirmation. Testosterone is commonly used in gender-affirming hormone therapy (also known as HRT) for those who want to masculinize their bodies. While high doses of testosterone are often associated with significant physical changes, low dose

Trans people have a right to healthcare. One of the most egregious pieces of anti-trans legislation in the US to date just passed in Kentucky. It targets gender-affirming health care for trans youth, insurance, doctors who provide gender-affirming care, legal name changes for youth, and more. If

A chest binder is a garment similar to a tank top or sports bra, containing non-stretchy, flat pieces that shape your chest into a flatter silhouette. Chest binders are safe when worn correctly. For some people, the mental health benefits of seeing and feeling this flat shape of their

Can gender dysphoria be treated, does it go away, or is it a lifelong occurrence?

For some people, gender dysphoria can get better or worse over time. Gender dysphoria can intensely affect trans people. People can feel a disconnect between the shape and behavior of their body and their internal

Gender affirming hormone therapy treats gender dysphoria effectively and safely for some trans people. Not only that, it allows some trans people to express their true selves to the world through their bodies. Not all trans people choose to pursue gender affirming hormone therapy. It can be life changing for

I am going to dig into nonbinary gender dysphoria in this post, but first, experiences of gender are incredibly diverse. I do not wish to speak for the nonbinary community, nor could I. Your experience may or may not be reflected in this post, and not only is that totally

Brace yourself. The misgendering is coming.

Holiday gatherings can be stressful for trans people, because they often feel mandatory and can be full of people you wouldn't otherwise hang out with and who get your name and pronouns wrong.

Many people dread attending family holiday events, especially if they are LGBTQ+. If this resonates, you are not alone. I’ll share some tips for how to survive the holidays with family if you’re LGBTQ+ in this post.

Thanks for reading Amplify Respect: Non-Binary Community! Subscribe for free

I had to choose my name before I could start writing about myself. I didn't know how much using my birth name was holding me back, a very nice name that made my stomach clench.

I had, statistically, as feminine-coded a name as is possible. Apparently, zero boys

I wish I had this when I changed my name! Check out my comprehensive transgender name change checklist. Legally changing my name (and gender, on some ID's) was a big administrative challenge. It took a lot of time and money. I think it was worth it. Using my new

Choosing gender neutral names or unisex names can be a powerful and personal way to reject the gender binary and affirm your identity.

When choosing a new name as an adult, it may help to try out a few names with a trusted friend or online before making your decision.

It might be imposter syndrome. It might be the discomfort of assigning yourself a label. Or it might be that you're just questioning your gender identity and haven't reached a conclusion. But many people at some point feel bad about not being trans enough.

I would say most

Looking for the perfect agender name? We’ve got you covered. You don’t want to see lists of male names and female names, you want a name that expresses your agender identity to the world. Choosing a new name is a very personal decision, and can be scary. It

Yesterday, two people used the wrong pronouns at work for me in written messages. Instead of saying “Let Rey know when your work is finished, so they can start the next step,” one message said “...she can start the next step.” This isn’t unusual. For example, the last time

Looking for great nonbinary name ideas? You may find other sites sorting names by male and female, but don’t worry, we don’t do that here. Before we dive in, I want to emphasize that a lot of nonbinary people do not change their name and appreciate their birth

Trans people are unfortunately in the news often, especially in the US. (The Trans News Initiative data visualization shows how many varied articles are out there.)

And you know, if you're reading this, that prestigious news outlets have been willing to publish wrong information about trans people. I'm

Frustrated that gender-affirming care isn't covered under your health plan? We share options and resources for trans-inclusive healthcare in the United States.

Unfortunately, health insurance coverage is changing for many folks in 2026. And if people are no longer eligible or can no longer afford an insurance

It's still unclear if and when the US government is going to pay out SNAP benefits for November as I write this post. I hope that's no longer the case by the time you read this.

By the way, this post will be about food and mindset around

Mainstream marketing strategies don't work for LGBTQ+ content.

This is because large corporations filter and suppress LGBTQ+ content.

So, what do I do, as a small creator who is doubling down on publishing LGBTQ+ content independently (on Ghost instead of Substack)?

Hi, I'm Rey. I write articles such

If you are trans, resources are available to help, fund, and support you. Trans people deserve access to gender-affirming health care, employment opportunities, and safe and comfortable living conditions. Many organizations are working towards providing this access (even though the legal situation in the US continues to threaten trans

I've been working on my speaking voice for years. Today I'm sharing my gender-affirming hormone therapy experience and an exciting collaboration.

--

Renée Yoxon, gender-affirming voice teacher, has helped me so much with voice training for trans and non-binary people. I've known Renée for at

Growing up, I learned how to speak from the girls and women around me.

When I spoke, my voice would often rise in pitch at the end of the sentence, like a question, even if it was a statement.

I also internalized negative messages about speaking like this. The way

Voices (and voice masculinization exercises) are really challenging! My partner asked me, "If you want to, why don't you just speak in a lower voice?" It does seem like it should be straightforward, when you put it that way. A couple of things: lowness (or pitch) of the voice

Martial arts training is one of the few situations where people learn how to yell. Most children are told not to yell or to be quiet; some children more than others. "Use your indoor voice!" Yelling can be a means of violence. Like learning how to punch or kick, learning

"Ma'am, take any electronics out of the bag," the female TSA agent instructed as I prepared to go through the security screening at the airport. The person to my left got a "sir" and person to my right got a "ma'am."

"Yeah," I acknowledged, and took out my

If we've just recently met, welcome! I am a real person... I think 😄

Please feel free to reach out any time by replying to my email newsletter. I read every email.

I'm transmasculine, non-binary, a writer, and a martial artist. I enjoy spending relaxed time out in

A strange man asked me an intrusive question…while I was sitting on the toilet in a women’s bathroom.

He wanted to know if I was female or male.

I basically had an anxiety attack.

Do you know how alarming it can be to have a man yelling at

How do you know if it's a good idea to share your experience publicly or not?

It can really help people to know they are not alone by finding someone else with a similar experience.

But then there's a lot of people who don't relate to your

I believe it's important for trans people to be able to share their true experiences and be represented with true facts and stories in the media.

I'm excited to share a guide with you today about how trans people are experts in our own experience. This is particularly

If you run a women’s community space, you provide coaching for women, or you are writing a book to inspire women, it’s okay to describe your work in that way. If your target audience truly is women, call them “women.”

You may be thinking you’d like to

I listened to Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming, a few years ago. She’s a great storyteller and presents her experience of being a lawyer, mother, and First Lady well. I particularly enjoyed listening to her story in her own resonant and cheerful voice—she narrates the audiobook.

There was

You are amazing. Yes, you. You care about people and about learning and you're interested in cool things. I mean that!

It's easier to see someone else's accomplishment than your own, generally.

Imposter syndrome is a really interesting thing. So many people feel like an imposter when

We're not just being lazy, or not wanting to do a task. What do you do when you don't want to avoid a task, but you find yourself unable to do it?

The ability to focus on and do tasks is, apparently, referred to as executive function.

Cleveland

Apologizing is hard, right? I certainly feel I could learn a lot about apologies, which is why I'm so excited to share this collaboration with Chris Musei-Sequeira!

Chris helps post-capitalist, post-colonial leaders align their work with their values, with marketing strategy and operational improvements, and writes

You're a writer, right? You should be able to communicate with me too.

Just because I am (or you are) a writer, or communicate as part of our job and life, doesn't mean our ability to communicate is somehow infinite.

I spent a month in Japan earlier this

Check out some interesting books I read this year and perhaps find your next great read or an excellent holiday gift!

This is the third year of my "favorite books of" - check out the previous two for even more book recommendations!

From the secrets of wildland firefighting to Indigenous land management to persevering through sexist harassment, River Selby’s incredible memoir, Hotshot: A Life on Fire, forthcoming on August 12, takes us on a fascinating tour of the American West, the human body, and forest ecosystems.

I am grateful for receiving

I feel like I’ve read a lot of books this year, most of them during the summer. Going camping in a van with little internet access changes my relationship to media. I enjoy digging into more books in a seasonal way.

Last year, I also published a favorite books

What did I read in 2023? I’ll share the best of them in this post. (Along with some books that I thought I read this year but probably read them in 2020.) I am grateful to have read such fascinating, entertaining, and informative books. Enjoy!

Amplify Respect: Non-Binary